They say do what you love well photography is definitely my passion. Something that lets me escape and enjoy my surroundings it makes me look at things differently and look closely at whats around me analysing it for a captivating shot . . . . . . . #photographyformentalhealth #photography #photographyforanxiety #photographyformentalhealth #photography #photographyforanxiety
. This moment of darkness was taken months ago. Its still not clear why I captured it. Even to this moment its not clear if it should see the light of day especially when happiness is the only publicly acceptable emotion to capture and share. . Maybe its existence will help me to be more authentic to myself and others. Perhaps its presence will help others to see its ok not to be ok despite the flood of smiles we constantly scroll through. Possibly it can help someone to know were not all fighting the same battles but youre not alone in this war.
. Twenty eighteen so far ... . Hospital tally 27 days. Body broke demanding emergency surgery. Heart tortured by a southern state ghost. Physically broke down losing 15kg in 3 weeks. Mentally decades of fuckery fuel ignited. I broke. . The fog of numbness doesnt permit asking for help because its not clear what is helpful. Its trial and error. Pity pushing positivity pleas miracle diets leper reactions or thoughtless suggestions are useless. Dont belittle the torment. Dont feed negative stigma. . Fortunately not "everybody" knows what this actually feels like but you will know someone who does. More recently some days are better than others but theres decades of denial bliss and mental clutter that needs sorting. To do it right its going to take time. Be kind. Be patient. . Why share this @elisabethlorn? Personally its a confusion outlet. Its lifted some weight and theres nothing to lose. Publicly be aware someones silence can be deadly. If this helps one person its worth being open. Please listen for silent screams and thankyou again to those who heard and have helped to rewrite the remainder of twenty-eighteen. . For those seeking professional help @lifelineaustralia @ruokday @beyondblueofficial @livinorg @blackdoginst . For those thinking theyre alone there is strength in numbers @youareluminouseluminous @samwebb @fortheboysaustralia @elisabethlorn
. Due to the perfect storm of [email protected]%kery I lost over seven months of this year. Gone. A fog. Broken. Initially the ability to move speak and function vanished. . Is every day now rainbow shitting unicorns? No. The difference? Not every day is brutal internal f#&kery. Some days are absolute shite some nightmares are so graffic its difficult to divide reality from REM. However more recently there are more welcome days than woeful and thats progress! Previously none of this was shared but in writing openly Im much kinder to myself. . So today I dont want to play and ITS OK NOT TO BE OK. Today Im not ok but because of my amazing support crew and the reinforcement of medical support theres the possibility of tomorrow.