what languages do you speak? tell me in the comments xx
my book Dear Midnight is available through the link in my bio.
So I have been having this issue with my faith for a little while now. Nine years in fact, maybe eleven. Like I was told God is it and God is fair and God is just. God allows things to happen. The ever faithful Job and all of that.
Then I'm left to wonder why. Like why do all these things. Why allow kids to grow up without parents. Why?
Why allow unexplainable things?
Why cause people to question?
Why fill me with questions I won't ever be able to find the answers to? Why did she have to die such a horrible death? Why?????????????????
Like why? I haven't been any better off these past couple years, things have just gotten worst if I'm gonna be honest. Time hasn't healed anything, in fact I think I've gotten worst. Panic attacks, anxiety attacks, medicine to make me feel as if being low isn't the only thing life has to offer.
All this unnecessary shouting and fighting.
I don't feel anything but weak and it's hard to lean towards the God that took everything away. I feel conflicted even thinking these thoughts, because that's enough to send me to hell right? But, then, I really don't know what to do. Don't know where to look for answers. I don't want to hurt the people I love. I don't want them to wonder why I just stepped into oncoming traffic. I don't want them to have to think about that forever.
I don't even remember why I started typing.