&quotEarly attachment patterns create the inner maps that chart our relationships throughout life not only in terms of what we expect from others but also in terms of how much comfort and pleasure we can experience in their presence. I doubt that the poet e. e. cummings could have written his joyous lines &ldquoi like my body when it is with your body.&nbsp.&nbsp.&nbsp. muscles better and nerves more&rdquo if his earliest experiences had been frozen faces and hostile glances. Our relationship maps are implicit etched into the emotional brain and not reversible simply by understanding how they were created. You may realize that your fear of intimacy has something to do with your mother&rsquos postpartum depression or with the fact that she herself was molested as a child but that alone is unlikely to open you to happy trusting engagement with others.
However that realization may help you to start exploring other ways to connect in relationships&mdashboth for your own sake and in order to not pass on an insecure attachment to your own children. Being in synch with oneself and with others requires the integration of our body-based senses&mdashvision hearing touch and balance. If this did not happen in infancy and early childhood there is an increased chance of later sensory integration problems to which trauma and neglect are by no means the only pathways.
Being in synch means resonating through sounds and movements that connect which are ded in the daily sensory rhythms of cooking and cleaning going to bed and waking up. Being in synch may mean sharing funny faces and hugs expressing delight or disapproval at the right moments tossing balls back and forth or singing together.&quot - Dr. Bessel van der Kolk 📸 @booksbyjessica #thebodykeepsthescore #besselvanderkolk #cptsd #ptsd #attachmentpatterns #sensoryintegration #dissociation #dissociativedisorder #traumainformedyoga #neurofeedback #somaticexperiencing #emdr #trampoline #neuroplasticity #traumatherapy #internalfamilysystems #ifs #meditation #bodyscanmeditation #vipassana #yinyoga #traumasensitiveyoga #psychomotortherapy #anxietydisorder #calm